I don't need an anesthetic

Sometimes I wake up with a content, "life just couldn't get better" feeling in my soul. I half-make my bed with me still tucked in and roll out while trying not to disturb the aligned corners of my comforter and sheets. When my feet have found my slippers, I finish the job and adorn the bed with my 17 throw pillows. It's usually around that time that I realize I've had a sleepy grin on my face the whole time.

But not this morning.

I have a 7am yoga class on Thursday's, which I greatly enjoy when I participate. I am a "stretcher" (merci beacoup ballet), so yoga is a good excuse for me to "stretch it out" in an environment with other stretchers (people, not hospital stretchers, though maybe at some point one will need to be brought in...that was such a Papa san joke).



Well dear blog reader, I didn't go today.

I woke up with such a subconscious indifference in my spirit, it alarmed me. To be real, I was not immediately alarmed (maybe someday I'll be that in-tune), it was only after my last bite of brown sugar oatmeal, that I felt a gentle prompting to, "turn this ship around." So yoga fell off my calendar which freed up a good hour to seek guidance from my favorite Counselor. I sopped that hour up so quickly, when I finally looked up, I was smiling at a clock that told me I needed to hustle to get to work.

Indifference is one of my biggest personal enemies. It can creep in and neutralize my heart's reaction to simple joy (which I consider a spiritual gift...not being simple, but finding simple joy in anything...I can hear my Papa San chuckling about me "being simple"). Lessons like this reinforce how personal God is and what kind of a relationship He seeks. He knows my inmost thoughts and has equipped me through the work of the Holy Spirit, to identify the whisper of indifference. Essentially the, "check yourself before you wreck yourself" reflex. And He has not only equipped me to identify the numbness, but He's shown me that through prayer and supplication, feeling can come out the victor.

With a new lightness of spirit, I journeyed to work this morning. As I settled in front of my inbox, tea in hand, I thought, "man I love oatmeal with brown sugar".

See, simple joy.

kiki san