Loud patterns

To be quite honest, dear blog reader, this morning I was feeling a bit annoyed. This week has been one of those, "I get in my car at the end of my day and realize that I've taken short, quick breaths for the past nine hours due to the crazy amount of work I need to get done" kind of weeks. Well, I don't know about you, but usually when I take said breaths they make me feel like I want to pass out. So I've been decompressing in my car with really heavy sighs which make me feel less like passing out and more like falling asleep. Weird extremes. Anyway, when I started my morning out, I could feel those tasks begin to cloud the one solid, set-aside time I have with the Lord every day and it annoyed me! I just prayed "give me a steadfast mind" over and over, until I finally felt released from the grip of my work to-do list. And then I had to pray about why I was annoyed...oh the journey.

I saw some notes in my Bible that caught my eye when I was thumbing through Romans looking for another verse, the notes were surrounding Romans 12:2. I stopped and read the verse;

"Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

This is one verse that will pop into my head from time-to-time without any material prompting, but as I read it today I couldn't dispute that I was lead to it by the Holy Spirit. I started thinking about the patterns of this world and I knew that my work-life balance had to be a consequence of the pattern of this world! God didn't give me tiny lungs. In fact he gave me such a huge ribcage to house my huge lungs that when paired with my tiny hips, I equal, pencil body. I say that because I don't think God wants me to work so hard that I deprive my body of oxygen due to the amount of stress I'm dealing with. That has to be a consequence of this world. We live in an "Oh sure I can do that" society that leaves us so busy, we don't have time to breathe.

Sidenote: I just took a moment to breathe very deeply...deep breath was hindered by my pencil skirt, sigh. I can't win:).

I love that God promises that we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This is one of those principles that is way easier to say than do. But the point is that I have to do it. I don't renew my mind by taking a mental break to envision myself sitting on a mossy rock by a gentle stream (though in most cases I am a vocal champion of the imagination) I renew my mind by thinking through my character flaws and talking with God about how I can learn and grow from them. The whole time, actively receiving God's grace so I don't condemn myself for my short-comings. God has made it so clear to me that this is how the transformation happens. You have to get in your car, go into the library, and talk to the librarian before you can renew a book. Why should it be any less work to renew your mind?

I came to work this morning with a fresh, "renewed" perspective and I kept my promise I made earlier in my prayers to be an advocate and not a critic (also a pattern of this world that I to frequently conform to) and you know what? I felt a transformation.



kiki san